


to play rough

by Prettything_uglylie



Series: the leaflets that fall out when you shake the book [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clarke Griffin bashing, Clarke's "apology" was bullshit, F/M, I love Shaw dont @ me, M/M, Murphy snaps, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Attempt admittedly treated...poorly, We also deserved a Shaw/Murphy friendship thank you, anti clarke, mentions, what should have happened in 6x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19715881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: Clarke rolls her eyes. Really? Murphy thinks before realizing that it shouldn't shock him. Clarke has a tendency to overlook him and everything he says but here - in a group of people he loves and loves him - she's out of luck; his voice actually matters this time. Banish him, Murphy remembers her saying when he was bleeding on the ground after Charlotte's death and Murphy scoffs at how willing she is to play judge, jury, and executioner with other people's lives but when her own is in that position, she is beyond arrogant."What the hell is your problem?" She asks like she didn't get two members of his family tortured, tries to kill Echo and leaving Bellamy to die in a fighting pit.He scoffs, "My problem? I guess my 'problem', as you put it, Clarke, is that I don't have empathy for little self-righteous bitches who can't own up to their mistakes.





	to play rough

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's a fix-it ficlet because I'm so mad that no one called Clarke out in season 6, episode 1 when she gives the group that bullshit "apology". There's more than light bashing in here, so...enjoy!

Oh, this should be fun, the small voice in the corner of his mind that is permanently there, gripes. This part, however, Murphy has gotten used to ignoring as its the same part that says that the rest of them would be better off without him and that he must tread carefully around the people he grew into viewing as family. 

And they are a family. Despite the fights and the bickering, they had been a family. In the constant kindness of Harper or Emori's smirked out quips full of caring, or Raven's bossiness in order to make sure they all stay safe and in Bellamy's bear hugs or his subtle glances that only Bellamy can make feel personal and - and Monty's patience, his resilience, his need to be optimistic in (god, a piece is torn out of his chest that Monty can't be right now) or even in Echo's wide-eye fore stillness of caution for things she didn't understand John Murphy found a family, brought shine back to a word that had long since lost its sparkle: family. 

And now, Clarke Griffin is sitting across a blazing campfire, alleging that they've all made mistakes in response to them being upset that she nearly killed their family. 

Recall the part of him he has gotten used to ignoring? Yes, well, that tendency doesn't mix well with the rage he feels boiling through his veins. 

"Really?" He asks a little too loud as on one side of him, Echo flinches and on the other, Bellamy's arm grips him tighter - like he's protecting him and like his first instinct was to protect him and the thought makes him soften despite the situation. 

Clarke rolls her eyes. Really? Murphy thinks before realizing that it shouldn't shock him. Clarke has a tendency to overlook him and everything he says but here - in a group of people he loves and loves him - she's out of luck; his voice actually matters this time. _Banish him,_ Murphy remembers her saying when he was bleeding on the ground after Charlotte's death and Murphy scoffs at how willing she is to play judge, jury, and executioner with other people's lives but when her own is in that position, she is beyond arrogant. 

"What the hell is your problem?" She asks like she didn't get two members of his family tortured, tries to kill Echo and leaving Bellamy to die in a fighting pit. 

He scoffs, "My problem? I guess my 'problem', as you put it, Clarke, is that I don't have empathy for little self-righteous bitches who can't own up to their mistakes." 

Her eyes go wide, an eyebrow lifting and despite Bellamy's hand firmly squeezing his wrist, he knows he isn't done yet. 

"My problem is that you think you can come back here into our lives after trying to kill some of us," he gestures at Bellamy with a calm wave of his hand despite the fact that he's basically snarling out his words, "actually succeeded in getting two of my family tortured, blew up the fucking world and _still think you get to play hero!"_

The grip on his wrist is so tight right now that it hurts but the pain motivates him. 

Clarke has the decency to look startled and taken aback for a few moments before admitting with a strange amount of pride. "I tried to kill myself." 

"Boo hoo," he mocks before he can help himself and despite Echo smacking his thigh, his eyes are glued to Clarke. He's filled with a juvenile need to see her breakdown to hurt her as she hurt him when he had been worried about his family, "So did I." 

His voice is sharp, quiet and precise like the knives he used to make himself in the Skybox for that one guard who couldn't keep his hands to himself. He is making a weapon, carving under her skin with it too. "I had been wanting to end it too, end the suffering and die before something else killed me off but guess what, Clarke? _I didn't fucking use it as a badge of honor!_ No, you can't come back in here and use it as an excuse for us to magically forgive you and put you back on top! Because you have to earn this - this _loyalty,_ this _family -_ back, Clarke! You can't betray us and then expect us to lick your fucking boots, Clarke! You have to earn that back, you apologize, and beg, and get on your knees and hope they can forgive you! Because _I_ sure as hell, can't!" 

He's suddenly breathless, suddenly emotionally drained and he leans back into Bellamy and Echo. Bellamy's grip loosens around his wrist and Bellamy folds their hands together as a sort of apology but they both know that there will be bruises on his wrist tomorrow; it's okay, he likes when they give him bruises. 

"Damn." Shaw admonishes from across the circle as well and the hint of fondness assures Murphy that he was right to like Shaw and he's smirking a little bit. "Raven was right, your inner bitch is crazy." 

Murphy sends him a grin and smug shrug but when Clarke starts up again, 

"You-" 

"No." He cuts her off immediately, not willing to give the satisfaction of having the last word before he stands, jostling both Bellamy and Echo as he had been in the middle of their cuddling pile and though he misses their warmth and pressure immediately, he can no longer stand looking at Clarke. 

"I'll take the first watch. Anyone want to join?" He does a quick glance around the circle: Miller is biting his lips in that telltale way that means he's hiding a smile, Jackson is gaping at him in shock, Emori is looking at him with that fondness in her eyes that he has to remind himself is conditional, Shaw's grinning, Clarke looks flushed and mad - _good, suffer_ \- and hesitantly he glances at his lovers, Bellamy is wearing a thoughtful expression that makes him nervous but Echo is trying to conceal her smirk. 

"I will." Shaw offers and Murphy's heart expands in his chest a little more: he's really glad they have Shaw. 

* * *

They had moved off to sit on a few fallen trees and pass words of conversation they barely have for about two hours until the shadows of a third figure join them. 

Murphy doesn't look up, recognizes Echo's cool perfume that smells like ice tastes - he can't think of another description for it, too unique for words. 

"Go rest, Shaw." She commands and it is not an offer but an order so Zeke shrugs, glances at him and when he nods, gets up to return to the embers. 

She sits beside him and suddenly their silence is suffocating; her perfume that he loves so much feels like something he could choke on. 

He starts, nervously, "Bellamy -" 

But she silences him, leading the conversation and with just that little move of dominance, he is hard - damn, what they do to him - "Bellamy was...unhappy with you at first. He thinks you were too harsh with her -" 

"Bellamy has a tendency to follow abusive women in his life. Part of his Stockholm." He murmurs and she squeezes his thigh firmly twice and with a dizzying flash, he remembers her once doing that and murmuring 'watch your tone, pup' in his ear and - and yeah, he's still hard as a rock. 

"Bellamy believed that you were too harsh and that you hurt her...We compromised on a deal that makes him feel better and you don't have to apologize." 

"Wasn't apologizing anyways." He murmurs, feeling a bit like a bratty child but Echo raises an eyebrow at that and he knows he would if Bellamy told him too harshly enough. 

"What's the deal?" He asks curiously and she leans in to whisper in his ear, 

"Spanking your pretty ass until its all red and not letting you cum for two days the moment we find a bed." 

He flushes, this time with embarrassment and anticipation rather than anger. 

He nods, 

"Please." 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Have a good day and I have comment moderation on, good luck Clarke Stans :)  
> (This is also properly tagged and warned about so good luck!) 
> 
> And if you aren't going to try to attack my comment section and liked this, genuinely thank you and please comment!


End file.
